It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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