Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
