I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Even my vagina gasped.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
