So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
