is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
