I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize