So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
We were destined to go to rehab together
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
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