Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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