The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
