420 ftw
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
