Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
