Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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