He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
