I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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