Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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