i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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