covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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