K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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