So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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