Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
