It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I need a burrito and a hug.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
