The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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