i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
