i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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