I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
