Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
