Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I'm passing your future prison.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize