you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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