doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
