So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
