I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
