I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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