wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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