Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
