i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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