When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
