tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
