I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
