Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
