i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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