I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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