Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
