What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
