My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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