Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
