you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
