Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Randomize
