I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize