After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Randomize
