If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
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