some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
