Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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