SEEEEXXX PLEASE
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
