okay pat passed out under dana's car
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
