walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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