Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
