Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Randomize
