A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
