Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
