Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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