Please, let me fuck your mom
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
