Where is the hickey?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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