He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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