i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
