He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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