ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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