I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
