what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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